ENGLISH DRAWING ROOM
--Oh Sarah, I struggle with my feelings. Reginald infuriates me with his callous rudeness, his cold demeanor and his upbringing, yet the memory of our shared line-dancing experience at the Earl's ball leaves me breathless whene'er I recall it!
--Emma, do not say such things! You are betrothed to Lord Fauntberry! His affection for you is as great as his facial hair!
--I do know this to be the truth, Sarah, yet my emotions lead me elsewhere. As frustrating as Reginald can be, my heart leads me to him again and again.
--And not to Lord Fauntberry?!
--Indeed not! Oh Sarah, whatever shall I do?
SMASH CUT TO SIERRA LEONE
--I have no food for today, just as yesterday.
--My only food source may very well become the corpse of my first-born. But first I must journey twenty miles to water.
--I would accompany you, but I doubt I would survive the journey due to my severe dysentery.
--What are the British doing about our living conditions?
--They are making us work more.
--I am dead.
CUT BACK TO ENGLISH DRAWING ROOM
--Oh Sarah, in my foolish, romantic haze I have set the forks on the right side of the place settings!
--Our existence is tortured and profound!
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I love you Devin Field. This type of thing would work really well as a Jane Austen parody, as anybody who reads Jane Austen is much deserving of mock and ridicule.
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